lost stars
by glitterings
Summary: it takes slow, tentative steps to bridge the eternity between them. —neji/tenten
1. Chapter 1

**disclaimer –** naruto + co. belong to masashi kishimoto

 **dedication –** to the end of my first year of college!

 **note –** wow i've been gone a while. lots of things, both good and bad, have been happening lately and i'm managing rather well, i think. i know i have a history of sporadically updating, but i feel like you've all watched me grow and improve as a writer, and i hope i continue to grow. i'm working on updating the sasuke/sakura fic i currently have up buuut i also have many other things planned, so fingers crossed i actually pull through lol!

anyway here's some sad nejiten

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When Tenten's phone rings at two in the morning, she is certain she is going to make someone pay.

"Who the fuck," she grumbles into her pillow. She flings her arm out toward her bedside table and gropes around for her phone. She considers letting it go to voicemail, just in case it's a telemarketer or a booty call or something, but her gut tells her to answer it, so she does. "Hello?"

" _Hey_."

"Neji?" Tenten scrambles to sit up and nearly drops her phone. "It's two A.M. Is…is something wrong?"

" _No, nothing's wrong_." His chuckle sounds deep and warm, just like she remembers. " _Just thought I should check on you. How are you_?"

"How am I?" Tenten laughs nervously, stares at the spaces between the fingers of her free hand. She thinks, I have been better. She thinks, I haven't seen you in ages. She thinks, I am in love with you and it hurts. "I'm fine. You?"

" _Ah_... _I miss you_." She hears rustling on the other line. He must be in bed. Then—a woman's voice, soft and lilting. There's more rustling, and Tenten realizes he has put his hand on the speaker so as to keep her from listening. She strains to hear what he says – " _Go back to sleep_. _I'll join you soon_." – and then there are footsteps as he seems to walk away from his bed. The bed he shares with someone else.

Tenten sets the phone down. The muscles in her jaw flex uncomfortably. She runs a hand through her curly mess of hair, presses her fingertips to her temples, massages her eyelids, attempts to control her breathing. Anything to keep from crying.

Neji is back on the phone again. " _Tenten, are you still there?_ " He sounds faint. Detached. He's been that way ever since he got engaged, but Tenten has never liked who Neji was in relationships. He always seemed to distance himself from her. She tries to make peace with it every time, but it has made her tired.

"Yeah," she breathes. "Still here. Probably shouldn't be, though." But she knows she probably always will be. She hates herself for it, a little.

" _What do you mean_?" He sounds so innocent, and it pisses her off.

"Neji, you can't keep doing this," she sighs, and her voice cracks out of exhaustion. "I'm going to bed."

" _Wait, I'm sorry_ ," he says. " _Please. I just wanted to hear your voice._ "

Tenten closes her eyes. "Well."

" _Tell me about work, or your friends, or—anything._ "

Okay, neutral topics. Tenten can do that. "I actually just got back from tutoring Hanabi's group. She's been picking up anatomy really quickly, but everyone's having issues with calculus. Um...Sakura and I are working on this group project for one of our larger lectures but it's not too bad. We went out with Ino and Hinata the other night for Ino's birthday, and we got way too smashed," she laughs softly. "I had to work a shift the next morning but I was only _slightly_ hungover, courtesy of the Hyuuga miracle cure that Hinata made for us."

" _Sounds like med school life hasn't changed you._ " She doesn't have to see his face to know that he's smiling. The thought of it makes her chest ache. " _Have you…been out lately?_ "

"Been out?" She's not stupid. She knows exactly what he means. But she's been dealing with this shit for too long, and it's two in the morning, and she just wants to make him suffer a little.

" _I mean, have you been out on any dates lately?_ " She imagines the light flush on his cheeks, how it's almost like pulling teeth for him to clarify even this much to her. He probably even looks a little embarrassed, like he shouldn't really be asking, which, he technically shouldn't be, since it's none of his business.

"Yeah, a few," she mumbles, shifting to lay down on her side.

" _Anyone I know?_ "

"Kiba and I went out for a dinner a couple times. I got drinks with Sai, but that was a one-time thing. Genma and Izumo, not at the same time, obviously, but those didn't last long either because I'm not really interested in seeing anyone I work with." _Also, they're not you_ , her mind supplies unhelpfully.

It is silent for a while. The sounds of the city seep in through her open window. She can hear Sakura snoring gently in the adjacent bedroom, but all she can focus on is Neji's steady breathing on the phone.

She wonders how long she can make it without crying, this time.

" _Oh_ ," he finally says. Tenten wants to laugh, but she doesn't. She didn't really mean for her answer to upset him, but she knows that he and Kiba have a complicated history. She knows that he doesn't approve of Sai because he hit on her the first time they met. She knows that he was suspicious about Genma, their undergrad biology TA who couldn't keep his eyes off Tenten. She knows that he thinks Izumo is a pervert.

She tries not to think about how those things may have factored in to her decision to see all of those men, at some point. She wonders if Neji is thinking the same.

" _I'm coming home next week_ ," he murmurs, so quietly that Tenten almost doesn't catch it. " _Without her_."

"That's great," she replies with a yawn. She doesn't miss how her heart seems to skip a beat.

" _Will you be there_?"

"When am I ever not here?"

Neji chuckles tiredly. " _Fair enough_."

"I'll be here." Tenten feels herself nodding off. "I think I'm gonna go, Neji. I have work in the morning."

" _Okay_."

"Goodnight, Neji," she yawns again, but she stays on the phone for a few seconds longer. She thinks – hopes – that he has something more to say before she hangs up.

" _Tenten_."

"Hmm?"

" _You are everything to me. You know that, right_?" he says after a moment, so softly, so timidly, so unlike Neji.

"Yeah?" Tenten feels as if she has been struck directly in the heart. In this moment, she ignores how he has another woman in his bed, how she feels like his dirty little secret, how she and Neji can't seem to let each other go. In this moment, she lets herself love him. "Yeah, I know."

" _Goodnight, Tenten_."

She hangs up and puts her phone back on the bedside table, calculates how much sleep she'll get before work if she falls asleep right now. Tries not to focus on the splintering pain in her chest and how she can feel her heart breaking all over again. Holds her breath, counts sheep, hopes to fall asleep before she starts crying.

But she is alone, in this dark and quiet space. And so she allows herself to fall apart.

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 **footnote –** nejiten was actually one of my first naruto ships and i'm certain i've read like 80% of existing nejiten fic but i've never been brave enough to post anything i've written for them…until now. hope you guys enjoyed this!


	2. Chapter 2

disclaimer – naruto + co. belong to masashi kishimoto

dedication – to the impending doom that is school lmaooo

note – idk where i'm going with this exactly but! this chapter is more set-up/filler. neji hasn't appeared yet but he'll be here soon so. enjoy!

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Regardless of how much sleep she gets, Tenten always gets up at exactly five o'clock every single day. As she rubs the sleep from her eyes, she recalls Gai's teachings to her and Lee – " _In order to be a youthful and productive individual, it is important to wake up as soon as the sun rises! Think of all the wonderful things you can do with the maximum amount of beautiful daylight! After all, the early bird catches the worm!_ " – and wishes for a day, just one day, where she can sleep in late and not feel bad because she's definitely earned it by now.

Unfortunately, today is not that day.

She yawns and rolls her neck slowly, then reaches out to check her phone. Scrolling through her notifications blearily, she sees that there are a few spam emails from clothing stores she subscribed to as a teenager and subsequently forgot about, updates from social media accounts that she hardly has time for, an obscene amount of texts from the group chat she has with her friends, and two individual texts – one from Lee and one from Neji.

She opens Lee's text first with the intention of ignoring Neji's for as long as possible, because she figures that if she makes an effort to avoid him, then she won't have to deal with the reality of his coming home, and plus she doesn't even want to try to deal with her mess of a group chat, so Lee is her safest option.

 **[4:58 A.M.]**

 **From: Lee**

 **To: Tenten**

 _Good morning, dear lotus! Just a reminder that I am bringing the tea for today's yoga session so you don't need to worry! See you in a few!_

Tenten smiles at Lee's early morning enthusiasm and pads over to her closet to change into a black sports bra and dark grey yoga pants. As teenagers, she, Neji, and Lee had been extremely close, and they had established a weekly tradition of five-thirty A.M. yoga and tea sessions as a way to bond outside of school, since they were always rather busy being overachievers and found it nearly impossible to meet during the week. It was a tradition they had kept even after Neji moved away.

Her phone buzzes with an incoming text as she's freshening up in the bathroom. It's a second text from Neji that she doesn't want to look at, so she puts her phone on silent and heads over to Sakura's room.

"Hey, Sak," Tenten says softly, knocking on Sakura's bedroom door. "I'm going out to yoga with Lee right now, but I'll leave coffee in the pot for you. I'll be back later."

Sakura grumbles on the other side of the door, which Tenten takes as a positive sign, so she heads into the kitchen to brew some coffee for her and Sakura. She's not ashamed to say that they have a sort of unhealthy addiction to coffee and caffeine, but it helped them get through undergrad in one piece, so why ruin a good thing?

Tenten grabs her keys and wallet and leaves through the front door. As she's locking the apartment, she hears faint barking and laughter wafting through the early morning air. There's only a handful of people in the building who would be up at this ungodly hour, and only one of them has a dog. She jogs downstairs and is immediately jumped on by Akamaru, Kiba's ever-friendly Great Pyrenees.

"Good morning, Akamaru, baby," Tenten coos, scratching the giant dog behind his ears. "Oh, you're such a cutie! Yes, you are!" He lets out a deep bark in greeting, his tongue lolling out happily.

"You're looking fine this morning," Kiba grins at her, then coughs. "I mean, what a fine morning –"

"You're a pig," she says fondly. Akamaru lands on the floor and circles her twice before plopping down beside her, his tail thumping the floor excitedly. "We still on for this weekend?"

Kiba ruffles his hair and pretends to look thoughtful. "Dinner and drinks?" His lips twitch into a smirk. "Wild horses couldn't drag me away, babe."

"Mmm, not your babe," Tenten laughs. Her phone buzzes twice in her hand, alerting her to two more texts. Her eyes flicker down as Neji's name appears on the screen. It sobers her up slightly. "I'm actually on my way to meet Lee right now, but I'll see you soon?"

His eyes are dark and inscrutable, but he sends her a teasing smile. "Sounds like a plan. Have fun, Ten." He turns to Akamaru, who is panting softly at Tenten's feet. "You ready to go, boy?" Tenten watches with a smile as Kiba heads up the stairs, Akamaru following closely at his heels.

When he's gone, she inhales deeply and stretches her arms out to ease some of the stiffness that she hadn't realized had settled during the previous night. The sight of Neji's name on her phone dampens her mood so quickly, despite the fact that she had sworn rather vehemently that she wouldn't let him affect her like this, and when her phone buzzes again she has half a mind to throw the damn thing at the wall. But she sees that it's Kiba, and, well, she's a simple girl – if she gets a text from anyone who isn't Neji, she'll answer it.

 **[5:16 A.M.]**

 **From: Kiba**

 **To: Tenten**

 _you really do look nice today. :)_

 **[5:17 A.M.]**

 **From: Tenten**

 **To: Kiba**

 _you flatter me, dog boy._

 **[5:17 A.M.]**

 **From: Kiba**

 **To: Tenten**

 _:)_

A soft smile pulls at Tenten's lips. Talking to Kiba is always so easy, so uncomplicated. He doesn't ask anything more from her than she is willing to give, and it is for this reason that their casual arrangement works so well. Shaking her head, she breaks into a light jog down the block. At the end of the street looms the large hill that overlooks the city, where she had spent so many mornings doing yoga and drinking tea with Lee and Neji. The memories come to her slowly, in pieces of a picture that has fallen apart over time. Long dark hair, sparkling eyes, passionate discussions, the smell of tea and incense. She feels the sting of nostalgia behind her eyes and sniffs.

When she arrives at the top of the hill, her eyes look red, as if she's been crying. If Lee notices, he doesn't say anything about it, only greeting her with a spirited, "Splendid morning, is it not!" before moving into the child's pose.

Tenten wipes at her eyes, shakes out her limbs, and follows suit. They move fluidly through a short sequence of twists, stretches, and bridges before ending in a seated meditation, where Tenten takes the time to focus her breathing.

After yoga, they sit with their shoulders touching and watch the waking city below while nursing steaming cups of jasmine tea. She doesn't look at him when she says, "He called me last night." But she can feel his eyes on her.

Lee exhales, his breath mingling with the steam rising from his cup. "He's coming home."

Tenten glances at him, then sets down her cup. "Did he talk to you too?"

"Yeah. It seems like he only ever talks to us when he's coming home." Lee shrugs somberly, and his internal struggle is almost visible on his face. She recognizes it because it's the same battle she fights within herself, every single day. He's trying to let it roll off his shoulders, but it's complicated, and it's Neji, and Neji's complicated, so everything, naturally, becomes complicated. She remembers, briefly, that it wasn't like this before. Everything used to be so simple. "It's okay though. People change. Growing apart is inevitable, I guess."

"Except for us!" Tenten hooks an arm around his neck and pulls him to her, ignoring his startled yell. She rubs her knuckles against his shiny black hair. "You're stuck with me forever, you ding-dong!"

"Tenten, _no_ , my hair!" Lee moans in mock-agony, but it morphs into delighted laughter.

They fall back into the grass, giggling madly, and for a moment everything is right in the world, and Tenten is reminded of how beautiful life was B.N. – Before Neji – back when she and Lee were just two raggedy kids against the world. A strange sense of calm washes over them as they stare up at the smooth periwinkle sky, chests heaving with remnants of contained laughter, but she can't lie to herself.

Life is infinitely more beautiful with Neji in it.

"We're gonna be okay, you know," Tenten breathes. "At least, until we aren't. But we'll be okay even then."

Lee smiles, a small and gentle thing. "I believe in our ability to overcome anything. Not just us, but Neji, too." He plucks at the grass absentmindedly, closing his eyes. "He just needs time."

A sigh. Then, "Don't we all."

* * *

When Tenten gets back to the apartment, she is immediately bombarded by the blaring sound of cheery summer pop music and the heavenly scent of eggs and bacon. Sakura is standing at the stove in a tank top and denim shorts, mouthing the words to that Santana song – or maybe it was the remix? – while shaking her ass and flipping bacon.

"Good morning, Ten!" she chirps, and she sounds remarkably less dead than she did when Tenten left the apartment, so she must be in a good mood.

Tenten moves past her and grabs a piece of bacon from the plate beside the stove. "Must be, since you actually sound _happy_ to be awake before eight."

"Oh, y'know, just excited for this lab and lecture," Sakura says breezily, ducking her head in an attempt to hide her smile.

Tenten knows she's lying, but she doesn't have time to unpack Sakura's odd morning behavior and she still needs to shower and get ready for class, so she just says, "Mmm, sure, Sak," and heads straight to the bathroom.

Her routine is quick, and she's in and out within fifteen minutes. As she tucks her towel around her body, she realizes that she forgot to bring her clothes into the bathroom with her, so she grabs her phone and heads to her room, her wet hair dripping onto the carpet.

She is so focused on her phone that she fails to notice the person sitting on her bed.

" _Um_ , bitch. Are you ever not looking at your phone. Honestly."

Tenten screams, dropping her phone and nearly jumping out of her towel. " _Holy_ – what the fuck? Karin?"

The redheaded demon in question reclines further on to Tenten's bed, dramatically raising the back of her hand to her forehead. "And here I thought you missed me. _Obviously_ I was wrong –"

Tenten jumps on her, and suddenly Sakura is on the bed with them, and they're all lively and laughing in the pale morning light of Tenten's bedroom. "Bitch," Tenten whines, flicking wet hair out of her face, "how did I not know you were coming?"

"To be honest, we were kind of banking on the fact that you never check the group chat," Karin says, cackling at the sour look on Tenten's face. "Especially early in the morning."

"I thought you'd catch her before your shower," Sakura giggles, running her fingers over the wet patches Tenten's hair had made in the sheets. "Guess not."

Karin grins, all teeth, and flings her arms out. "Well, I'm fucking _back_ , baby! And it feels _so_ good to be home." Her fingers brush through Sakura's hair as her gaze roams over Tenten, stopping at her chest. "Nice nipple piercing, by the way."

"Oh. Thanks," Tenten says offhandedly, tugging the towel back up over her exposed chest. "Anyway. We have class all day –"

"And we're having dinner tonight with the rest of the girls," Sakura interjects, "which you would _know_ , if you checked the _chat_ –"

Tenten smiles sweetly. "Why would I need to check the chat when I have you to remind me?" Sakura rolls her eyes.

Karin waves her off. "Yeah, do your thing. I'm meeting my parents for lunch and some light shopping, and then I have to shadow my dad around the office, so. Tonight will be a much-needed break." She hops off the bed and stretches her long, skinny limbs out. "But in the meantime, I'm starving and I haven't eaten since I got off the plane. So –"

"Yeah, yeah." Tenten gets up to change, shooing Sakura and Karin out of her room. She quickly pulls on a pair of jeans and a plain white tee, picks her phone up from off the floor, and pads out to the kitchen, where Sakura and Karin have settled at the counter.

Sakura hands her a plate. "So, Karin was just telling me something interesting –"

"But I think I'll save it for tonight," Karin interrupts with a smirk, her glasses glinting in the sunlight.

Tenten shrugs and digs into her omelet. "Suit yourself." Her phone, face down on the table, buzzes insistently to alert her of four more texts.

Sakura raises her eyebrows and swallows her bite of bacon. "Someone's popular this morning."

Tenten groans. "You have no idea."

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footnote – please read and review! i've been feeling more inspired lately so hopefully i'll update more quickly haha


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